I've known Adeel since the day he was born and was followed like a shadow by our learned "Babooji" (To whose memories this work is dedicated). He's so loving and charming that when he asked me to translate his work of poetry, I just couldn't refuse, though I did try. You can't say 'No' to him anyway. That's one thing, I've noticed. He happens to be my youngest brother. He's shown me, in more than one way, the meaning of the word 'O' Brother!'
This translation reflects a common objective: To capture, as best as I can, the individual tone, mood, and spirit of each poem, and in doing so, to go to heart of what I felt the poet wished to convey. Let me make a confession here, also. This is my first comprehensive translation work, and Adeel's first work of poetry. We both can boast of being amateurs, so to say. Though it may not be the most perfect, what's so perfect about life, anyway?! Nonetheless, there's a sense of awe, pride, and pleasure in doing things in life, for the first time.
Please bear with my translations as you go through Adeel's genuine and heartfelt thoughts. I wish I could have done much better, or more!
I believe, the translation is a sincere effort, on the part of the poet, to reveal to the younger generation, how he feels, thinks, and communicates, in a language that he knows best. In addition, it gives a touch of awareness of Urdu poetry, which is an integral part of our native culture. (Urdu has become the second language of our children, who have been brought up in this land of opportunity.) Furthermore, it opens a window of vision for them, allowing them look for their roots, through their elders' soil.
I expect the well wishers of Adeel and Urdu poetry to welcome this endeavor in its totality. Wishing him and his readers well, I want to say:
Javed Zaidi
Friday 13, 2001
P.S. I am personally indebted to my darling daughter Mona J. Zaidi for all the pains she has taken in helping us with this translation and having been on our side; supporting poetry and our heritage. She is a young upcoming poetess herself and we are sure that one day she will join her uncle, Adeel, with her debut in publishing her works and diary which she write as a US Peace Corp volunteer in Tanzania where she taught for two years and experienced a different set of circumstances of human life.
I cried and asked for His help
But my prayers went unanswered that day
He must have been busy and angry
Or maybe my prayers weren't up to the mark
I'm sure He was there for a moment to see that
Smiling fresh face of my Hassan
Who must have recited the lessons of unfulfilled human desires
As He was embracing him!
Oh, God! You know all
You're the one who blows the first breath of life in us
And we know it
You create the buds and flowers and let them bloom
But why do you negate the right of their existence and laughter sometimes,
And let us drown in the sea of pain
You know about the unknown
What do I know?!
Had I the foresight, I could've been present
Alas! I could have saved him when he was asking for help
I'd never let him sob, the way He did
And perhaps, he'd have smiled too, to see me there!
But even if I'd reached I wouldn't have instilled life in him
As helpless as I am, 'cause I'm no messiah!
And then I reached when it was too late,
And I had to see what I'd never imagined
There he was lying like a sheer sadness on his bed
Lips silent, heart still, nothing but quietness
Yet to my surprise, there was strange freshness on his face
As if he'd submitted to God's will with a smile
Leaving us in everlasting sorrow and awe!?
Let me tell you
This century old tale once again
Hoping, perhaps, this time, it might enlighten
The darkness within you
And maybe, once again
Bring some goodness and refinement to our homes!
Here and now
Who unfolds every conversation
Who weighs every word which criticizes
Who has time, who cares
Who thinks before the leap
But whenever talking, the fragrance of our words
Should surround us
If this were to cease
We'd thirst for these words, yet
This has often happened here
Like judgment's rain, the words poured
Bringing back the past
At times they made us laugh
At times they made us cry
Words can be cruel, but
Let's remove the blinds from heart and minds
We'll find ourselves without a price – with no ego
And we'll see the same words as gifts from God
Please keep talking because words bring life to our homes
There's no wealth greater than being together
And being able to talk
Even the clouds of the worst arguments have a silver lining
Revealing that we still love each other
Leading us towards a message of well being
Love and care!
Waiting for a God
Who resides in you
In solitude or in company
But doesn't care about a big hoopla
He's like a little lamp burning within you
A candlelight shedding hope
O'Brother, can I say this,
Dim the lights from the outside
Make the soil of your heart fertile
Break temporary, shallow relations
Enlighten from within
Cut off the worldly affairs
Quit sowing the seeds of hatred
Let's submit to love and real relationships
O'Brother, let me say this
Bring blood together
Tune hearts in harmony
Once hearts meet hearts, one can see things
He's never seen, realizing dreams
O' Brother,
Wipe the dust off the mirror of your heart,
Pear in
You'll see better within and without
One quiet evening of solitude
With the doors of heart open.
Seek the truth
O'Brother can I say this
Why look for love door to door
The love resides within you
And talks to you in solitude or in company
O' Brother, can I say this
Let the doors of your heart open to enlighten you
Look in the courtyard of your heart
Your heart's like a crescent of the moon
Look into it
So many have gathered
They say only good about you
They all love you
Once you start seeing them
You'll see God, too
Those whom you haven't been able to see yet
You'll find those loving humans
O' Brother, can I say this,
Why are you keeping quiet
Say something, talk to me
Open the door, Brother
Look out at your doorstep
There are few good people awaiting
Even God, to see you!
This life is like a circle
Pour in colors of love, friendship, and truthfulness
They together make life immortal!
Remember this life is a circle
Sometimes blurred
Sometimes bright
No one has seen the face of real life
But those who never chased after it
Even today, they are alive
The people who drank hemlock
And went for the gallows, with pride
The people, who with happiness and intent
Rejected the norms of life
Got out of vicious circle of life!
This vicious circle is their captive
But still this circle bleeds
Devoid of love, friendship, and truthfulness
Remember, this life is a circle
Fill it with your blood, of true colors
Of love, friendship, and truthfulness!
Trying in vain to forget his memories
Repentance of leaving him back home
Haunts even more!
Seeing happy faces around,
Reminds me of people
Who once were with us
But they've departed
The opportunists who worship the rising sun
Disappear soon
Like shadows in the sunset!
A simpleton like me blushes
When they talk about knowledge and skill
Why do you even ask, oh Adeel
Of those who give
But never fulfill!
(To the Mexican Children)
Even after a million years of Adam's punishment
His flower-like children are being brought up
In the filth and dirt of illiteracy
It's a strange sight
How do I write what I have seen?!
I only wish, these children sitting along the road
With their decorated merchandise, were also
Taken to schools, where they could learn
Lessons of wisdom and life
How do I write what I have seen?!
These processions of continuing traffic
Bringing the clouds of smoke with them,
Amidst which, these flower-like children
Standing shoeless
Being brought up on streets
Buried in their day-to-day necessities
With tough luck
How do I write what I have seen?!
These flower-like children showing tricks
To catch our attention, and looking at us as if they were asking
"How come we're so different from you,
when we have a heart which jumps like yours?"
In expectancy, their hearts beat, as a car gets nearer
Perhaps they could make some money
How do I write that millions of them
Parentless, sleep and wake up on streets?!
Chasing after money
Which they can never find enough
How do I write
Their fortunes are like a mirage
If you can read their eyes
These flower-like children have many questions
Inviting the car driver's attention
To see beyond their golden faces
Listen brothers, understand if you can 'cause
These flowers-like faces are saying something to you in a very few words
They're trying to say
Look at them
Read their eyes
Touch their hearts
And you'll like their faces
How do I just write
Thousands of stories are awaiting for thousands of days
Asking us and the Creator
When are we going to have a just society?
When will we be like our counterparts?!
Led life without any planning
And it was over, even before
Making any plans!
As soon as I close my eyes
Her beautiful face appears
Was she a goddess or an embodiment of beauty . . .
The fragrance of Abboo's arrival would be all over the house
But ever since the kids grew up
I find myself like extra baggage!
Everyone is happy
Of pomp and show
And I'm breaking apart within
But no one knows!
If this were the real world
Why did I bothered to come here
And go door to door
No one knows
Suddenly, I saw her!
But I kept quiet
With my wandering questions
And gathering thoughts
From imagination
Like live bodies tussle
Into a fisherman's net!
At that very moment,
I couldn't decide as to move or stay
Tell her or just turn back
Be alive or just fall apart
It was a queer feeling!
I could hardly move
At a moment which felt like a millennium
I thought about revealing
That I was the same person
Once she was so fond of
I thought of reminding her
Of the promises of love and friendship
Yes, I wanted to say some
I wanted to go in that direction
But, suddenly that flower-like child
Who making sand castles on the beach,
Asked me if I could save them from sea water
He cried: I've been making them since ever,
But how can I stop the sea from destroying
The sea is torturing me, it's washing away my castles of dreams."
"Let's go mother,
I'm exhausted, you too, let's go mother, let's go from here,
nothing like our own home!
I was listening to the whole conversation
Went from top to bottom in perspiration
Being in light, looked dark
Was I alive or dead?
A queer feeling was there,
In my body and soul
Certainty was in oblivion
A moment was like a millennium
Today's deserts were populated yesterday
Thinking about it and not being sure
As to what to do
A little hand shook my forehead
I saw my daughter sitting on my bedside
Moving my shoulder
Waking me
Thus, letting me know
The difference between a dream and reality
As driving by
Day dreaming and singing
On my way to office
Suddenly a strange sight struck me!
There was a boy leaning against a
Lamp post, looking with
Pathos and desire
As if telling everyone of us
That all the kids in the neighborhood have
Just taken the school bus
Is there someone who after washing and feeding
Could put me on the school bus,
with a book bag on my shoulder, too
My childhood begs you for this scene
Awaiting a person
Who can teach me the lesson of love!
Provide me with a place where someone would wait for me
Or else, let me know where I went wrong
Extinguish the burning flame of desire in me!
My Hassan's beauty was the decor of the garden of my life
You're the most powerful, you could've let him live a little longer!
Thirty-eight years of life
I never had experienced a tougher day than this
Your uncle doesn't like to be quiet in love,
Wake up and let's meet
There'll be days ahead in life to sleep
We'd met after ten years
And not even the interest of those years was paid
Come back! This is not the right time for you to go
If God is insisting, let him wait some more
You left us, my son
As if every moment of life has turned into death
Alas, we're to live!
You had brought life to my barren house
It doesn't seem right to depart that early
Please stay a little longer
We're alive today in your mourning and funeral
As if we've yet to live and weep more in your sorrow!
Dreaming about a better world
Won't bring you fortunes
Just as by merely looking at the surface of the sea
Sunken ships aren't recovered
I heard once
That time was the best healer
That time put dust on all the old faces
But let me tell you the truth, Sahib
It's never happened so
Twenty years have passed
Whenever I dream
I still hear him walk
I still see his
Face like a red rose
Like a new book
I collect myself and
Try to read but
How can I stop time?
Whenever I try to read
The sun is in my eyes
Telling me, all these
Books are, but a dream
The truth is that even today
His face comes to me like an open book
At times I come across a strange surprise
On every page I see his face
Everywhere I notice his memorabilia
Every piece of free time demands the same story
Though I convince myself
That I can never be young again
But your memories always tease me
Maybe I can't be young again,
But your memories always return
People who possessed the truth have vanished
O'God patients of yours have vanished
The existence of love used to have their fragrance
Those surroundings of the garden have vanished
I've been looking for, someone to follow
But, people who had character, for years have vanished
In the dust of the world, have drowned all
Those who were content have vanished
The condemned like us give their lives for you
Where have the pious ones vanished?
It's a deserted evening, in silence
Where have my buddies vanished?
I'm also a proponent of Ghazal, Adeel
Where have the supporters of Mir and Ghalib vanished?!
Dreams don't comply
I just feel better with memories
There was a time I used to sleep well
Now, I just toss and turn
My tears come out in a way
Making his face all over
Your fragrance announces spring's arrival
Even the trees get dressed in this welcome
Changing outlook will make the difference
But people just change the mirrors!
He's the life of this sitting, Adeel
We are just the burning candles!
With pride, people watch
The enlightened city from
A distance . . .
So much curse
Descended from the sky
People lost faith in this world
We didn't even trust Him
Being in the company of disbelievers
People don't even bother to glance
If the poor ask for help
How long would they fight hatred?
They were dead tired
As if someone's awaiting
People leave this world
Dodging destinations, Adeel
People leave their caravans
We want what we don't have
Suffocated in cities people seek country life
People need a topic to talk about
A personality to criticize
Charity should begin at home
If you're asking for piety and prestige
What do I say why I'm dying
I guess, I'm looking for an excuse to meet You!
The darkness of cruelty exposed the real faces
We also need a night like Karbabla*
We've been hearing for so long about Mt. Sinai
Now, we won't settle for anything less than Your sight!
The journey of my dreams
Is melting into tears
And the people I want to walk with
Are changing their paths
Some sow and others reap
The fruits, it's a strange custom
Those dreams like flowers
Which take a lifetime to envision
Vanish within a wink of an eye
A strange suffocation is in my heart
Thought, if it stops I might feel better
I've lost him in a world of dreams
Whenever I remember him my heart aches
I feel bad that this world won't show respect
And they're looking for an opportunity to settle the score
Only I know, Adeel, what I went through
Others would've been dead
I don't take pride in finding this world
Having lost the destination I'm still with the caravan
Those who claimed to be God
Were buried tombless, nameless.
In the midst of a swirl, I thought of him,
As if my ship's found a rudder
Meeting him again, I realized
I've found the milestone of destination
I need an explanation from the grave
How the young could become ashes!
What do I write about meeting him, Adeel,
Meeting him, I met the world!
Awaiting his arrival
Couldn't sleep all night
Exhausted but overpowered
By the memories
What was it that teased me all night?
Though I know it wasn't true
I faked his existence all night
For who wasn't to come,
Why did I ruin my day in decorating my house?
It's not even worth mentioning
But, I did talk about my pain
To his picture, all night
I couldn't touch but I kept
Him like a fragrance in
My mind, all night
If He knows all secrets, then
Why did He play with my
Sentiments, all night
At the waters and thirsty,
Our personality is but a mirage
We're the followers of Ali
Though, defenseless against the injustice!
Every wave of time wipes us out
We are like a book written
On the sand!
What did we do so wrong?
We're still the cursed
You're the creator of this universe
And, we think ourselves successful
With those who have gone to sleep, I have no complaints,
Even when awake
We are dreaming
The life is passing me by, Adeel
Like a hell
If living in peace, one writes a Ghazal
Or when fearful, scared, one writes a Ghazal
I write an elegy when I can't see him
But when my eyes are on him, I write a Ghazal
We see each other everyday,
But when our eyes meet, I write a Ghazal
Don't limit yourself while thinking,
When you can really see the world, you write a Ghazal
These lamps of words don't shed light
When your heart bleeds, you write a Ghazal
What is poetry but submission and prayer, Adeel
When you feel lonely, you write a Ghazal
Don't be awake at night, my friends
Tired, you must sleep
O' my companions in pain!
After destroying me so recklessly
Where has his excellency is gone
With the rotation of the Earth and the sky,
The strings of my life are scattering
Being penalized for speaking the truth
I was awarded my share of the gallows
Useless were those days and nights,
When I couldn't even think of you
Think what'll happen to me,
Please don't display coldness
I want to cross the river,
Because my own people are
On the other side
Living forever isn't possible, as a rule
The wind shall blow out the lamps of life
Don't kill yourself in taming the breeze
It's not going to happen
Years ago someone knocked at the door of my heart,
No voices have been heard since
From all the stories in this world
The gist is, it's all my fault
Not anyone's mistake
Fidelity, Devotion, Love, Sin, Deceive
All above are incurable
There is no medicine
I suspect this universe is
But an echo, don't try to
Listen to all of the voices
I was overconfident about
My own people, Adeel
But being a fidel
Was of no avail.
I'm on my way, too
Obsessed by my past
I'm also on my way, there
You aren't able to comprehend
But I belong to the same tale
Don't even think you're alone,
I've also been waiting for friends
I had just walked with my head up
Then remembered
That I have no control over life
I've my differences of thought
But I'm still walking with the caravan
Expecting that he'll reward
I'm still standing, waiting for kindness
He seldom comes down to earth
And we think of ourselves high!
I belong to same India
Where thousands of years of civilization are buried
Not only are the stars in a dilemma
We too are a part of this constellation
To say how I feel, I am afraid
To show you the mirror, I am afraid
Whatever in return have I got from my dreams?
To ask you for any dreams, I am afraid
Because friends who did, have left me
To ask you to sit by me, I am afraid
Knowing that we have to part
Even to display my love, I am afraid
Adeel, I've gotten so used to a burning fire in my heart,
That even to think of extinguishing it, I am afraid
There was a time when
He used to visit me on a daily basis
What's happened that I don't
Hear from him anymore?
How can I tell him that
Living without him, is
Like mind not working and speech ceasing strength?
There's so much suffocation in the body and soul
At this point in time, that's
An indicator of a hurricane . . .
You complain about not being in love,
O' take pride in whatever I could do for you!
It's not even worth mentioning
That they had returned from
The waters, thirsty
To roll over the hot sand
I kept staring at your picture
Hoping that lips would
Start moving at any time
And you'd say something . . .
Not even a thing could
Replace your memories
Though many thoughts crossed my mind
In this prevailing scheme
Of things, I've lived to die,
O'God, remove the patterns of
Your earth and sky
As I glanced his ridden face from the journey
It struck my eyes like a tempest
I still remember the day
I had left home with hardly
Anything for the journey
Alas, I had to work for a home
Though leaving one behind
I admire those who never leave home
'cause I was looking for a home while at home!
Having problems I often tumbled
but the habit of doing whatever I want and
in a hurry, never left me
The people that I do love
One by one left me
Like the tears from eyes
I'm only human but remember
The angel who once go his
Wings almost cut, when
He tried to go overboard
Even if I try to remember that dream
I can't as to why I had taken
This journey from home
Since you weren't there, they asked
And I missed you too, thinking about you
Within no time, the kings turned into paupers
And the talented ones fell to the lowest points in their lives
Bilaal* did call and invite to awaken
From the darkness of the unknown,
But the people never responded
There's a shadow of a ghost that way
Whoever's gone, returned exhausted
I'm coming to satisfy my spiritual needs your way
Though I had made enough gains, in this material world
Apparently silent like as a rock, Adeel
My personality did have its weaker points
I kept crying for him,
He never come closer, but does it matter?
I felt this way all my life,
He never became kind, but does it matter?
There must have been a strategic move to
Exclude my name from the top of the list
Though I was being observed so keenly, but does it matter?
I'm so positive that you're here, near, somewhere
But it's another thing that you aren't kind
You don't speak my language, but does it matter?
I encouraged and taught you to love
Devoid of you,
My heart never learned to grow up, but does it matter?
Those who flew away from, in the midst of the day,
Never returned to their nests until dark, but does it matter?
The people who hold my hands with zeal, Adeel
Are not the ones that I'm looking for, but does it matter?
The sun rises and sets
But those in love never change
Though time rolls over everyday
But never changes . . .
When, Adeel my heart aches for him
No matter what I do, it doesn't feel better
If stars show the way, thank God
But the sun never rises on dark nights
Simplicity has its own colors
Though it never shows
Adeel, no one knows it
The secret of life remains untold in the heart
The dwelling seems old
Is the one of my ancestors' memories
Once there was life all over
Though now a story only . . .
There was love, compassion, regard, knowledge, and skill
The memories are lovely
Even if I had to give away my life
I've decided to come to you someday
Neither the face nor the features have remained the same
But the life goes on . . . .
I know you love life Adeel
But this love is indeed the reason for your sorrows
Passing through this lonely life, I discovered
There were many around you, but you're still on your own
The one who I couldn't find in this life's carnival is,
The one whom I've awaited all my life
Those stabbing from behind
Lose the trust they were indebted with
Why did they leave us lonely?
Had they waited a moment I would have gone with them
Why don't you enjoy the last dance o' moth?
Eventually you'll burn and be one with this source of light
Willingly though, we had come in the light, for a moment
Knowing the sun of sorrows sets by night
Desiring that vision of infinity Adeel, sleep
Because while awake, what you had seen, was a dream
In just imagination, in thoughts, what's there?
O' God, in meeting like that, what's there?
We are the bad ones and the impious ones
O' holy one, in your pious thoughts, what's there?
Who made this world and how
In these reasonless questions, what's there?
We complain, don't ever disrespect sentiments
Smiling, He said, "In sentiments, what's there"
On barren lands, crops don't grow
In everyday rain, what's there?
Love reigns everywhere
In wars and riots, what's there?
We the ones who make and destroy them, Adeel
In such self-made situations, what's there?
Sorrows don't come along
Had you been with me, it would've been good
Someone would have lightened my heart
Had you been with me, it would've been good
In this jungle of loneliness
To whom shall I convey how my heart feels?
Had you been with me, it would've been good
You'd talk about us with pride
Our trust could've been built
Had you been with me, it would've been good
We talk to the world about you, though you aren't even with us
The weight on our hearts would've been lessened
Had you been with me, it would've been good
Yes, the day passes somehow in worldly matters
The evening could've passed
Had you been with me
They were residing in my heart
And I didn't even know
Those eyes were magical
I don't even look at anyone anymore
This strange quietness and darkness
Would've felt like a morning if you were with me
I forgot everything but my childhood, though
You turned out to be more skilled!
When love has left this world
Then why should humans stay
When you're confident about your destination, then
Why would you think about the plain of probable?
I was about to leave this abode
But thinking about something supped me
O' you who are wise
It's difficult to be alive
Life taught me this lesson:
It's difficult in life to thrive!
Life's hidden in the garb of death, please walk with care
This dirt cures, please walk with care
Everyone thinks differently mister
It's a new city, please walk with care
Everybody has far-fetched ideas
Everyone has something to say, please walk with care
This earth holds many skies under her cuff
This is Karbala, so please walk with care
Where you get the messages of love
That is the city of cruel, so please walk with care!
This is God's backyard, watch out
He's so near, beware!
Even now, I see a resemblance of someone in every face
My wounds haven't healed yet, have they?!
These departing moments, I suspect don't become everlasting
'cause everyone thinks differently
The journey in the bare sun and shoeless
Every wound's so fresh, please walk with care!
I'm setting like a sun
Burning in my own fire, do you even know?!
The stones which didn't break with effort
Are melting in the heat of my sorrows, do you even know?!
Those who were happy on my misfortunes
I've heard are repenting, do you even know?!
Those who were laying eyes on my pathway,
Now are changing their ways, do you even know?!
Don't seek unique jewels from above,
They're nurtured by mother earth, do you even know?!
As everyone else enjoys,
I do too, do you even know?!
Like a fish without water, Adeel
Without you, I toss and turn all night, do you even know?!
Having homes, we're seeking peace in wilderness
Though our heads are on our shoulders
Neither knowledge nor experience have are the criterion
Though being skilled, a queer starvation of skill exists
There were times when I couldn't see you,
Though having eyes,
Neither fragrance nor shade nor flowers in the garden
Though having leaves and trees, it's a strange spring
Who should I tell and who'd believe, Adeel
Though having a companion, my journey was incomplete!
Love is leaning towards patience and submission
This journey is like Karbala's way
Darkness is leaning towards light
My moon is surrounded by the clouds
When the time comes, it will fall
Because every star is leaning towards mortality
We aren't sure about the next moment
Every lamp is leaning towards the blowing wind
The pulse of my soul is slowing down,
Is life leaning towards infinity?
Once again, they're sending friendly messages
Isn't that what happened in Karbala?
The heart would have melted in no time at all,
But the mind's leaning towards the ego
From whom, I learned the lessons of love, Adeel
Even he's leaning towards coldness!
Having contact with everyone
I went from city to city
Devoid of peace at home
I went from city to city
Those who could find peace at home, stayed home
People like me went from place to place
I don't have access to my own people
My jewels are buried at the bottom of the sea!
It's strange to mention
I was welcomed and trusted more than
In my own home!
What would I get even if I showed my wounds?
The people who inflicted them remained trustworthy
A queer high and low, I came across last night
My eyes can't rest anywhere, now
Mirage of the soul, by God, what I saw
Was, having to live a little, people stayed forever
Though the whole world loved me,
The ones I love were unaware of it
Only God knows His affairs, Adeel
When He couldn't manage to stay here,
How can we?!
In search of those we've lost
We're determined to decorate our parties with them
Who knew my story?
Your attention has changed the winds of time
We neither come nor leave by our will,
It's a strange tradition of welcomes and departures in this world
Who should I tell now?
For whom I have done everything
My desire, to invite him home, remains
You couldn't even bear a few days absence, Sahib
Now you swear upon forgetting me
Adeel, plan a home among the skies
Lightening is stubborn of burning homes
Neither wise nor unique, Adeel ,
in any skill
But God's on your side!
I haven't seen him
For a long time
Awaiting a fresh wound
For a long time!
For how long can one solve puzzles
It's about time for him to show up,
It's been long!
Expecting the shadows of love, confession, and fidelity
This world has been here
For a long time!
The one who was close to my daily affairs
Tell him to come home, it's getting late . . .
Whom do I seek in the evening
Only the shadows remain, it's getting late
The heart's slowed, the pulse down, Adeel
Don't worry about medicine now, it's too late anyway
How a father becomes so dependant on his son, Adeel
Only now I realize, since he's gone, Adeel
Remember! You'd left someone, too, once
So why so sad, Adeel
Having it all but him exposes
How helpless a person can be, Adeel
Once I stop breathing
The references will change, too
The same people will call me deceased, Adeel
If this life and what you call living
How many more days do I have to live, I don't know, Adeel
In a moment she forgets
She knows the art of making you cry so well!
There was a queer glow in the atmosphere
They were talking about the way you smile
What do I write about the closeness to her?
I care neither about myself nor this world
Had you been with me,
I was determined to grow flowers in desert!
I don't care of being lighted or extinguished
Though the task of shedding light is difficult
The wind won't favor fate
Because this lamp is to be used at home
It's difficult but what can be done
To forget after looking at her
The desires are awake, Adeel
Let's see what time has for me, in its sleeve
What'll happen
After the candle burns
What'll happen
After the wax melts
Think about the lamp's diminishing oil
What'll happen when night falls
Those who are killed
Can't predict
What'll happen after the arrow leaves the bow
Alright I'll walk with you, but
What'll happen as we walk together
You're so proud of your sun
What'll happen if it sets
I ponder as the night passes,
What'll happen at sunrise
All is so attached to this life
What'll happen if we die
O' breeze, do the flowers know
What'll happen if you blow
Even if I be patient
What'll happen,
After filling up the cup of wine
What'll happen
Everyday you ask to talk
What'll happen if we talk
Whom would you criticize
What'll happen if I die
I continued the war
Knowingly
What'll happen after the peace
So the people, who try to appear well, know
What'll happen if they do look so good
Don't try to color your life so much
What'll happen if that color fades
Gluing the pieces of life together, Adeel
What'll happen if it shatters
Which to hide, which to show
There were so many wounds
Which to sew
I would have melted like a candle
Had he shown a little desire
In response they would have got love
Had they preached the way of love
If someone had even met eyes with me
I'd have given my blood for him
If the sky had known my intentions
The paradise gate keeper would have washed
His hands of my tears
The menace of wars would have vanished from this world
If people would have been civilized enough to talk
If justice had prevailed in this world, Adeel
I would have never begged to leave
Once people really cared about love
Times have changed though
Everyone seems to behave like a businessman
In the bitter sunlight of hatred
Even a little shade feels like a big tent
The palaces of love could be built in a moment
Though trying times in love last forever
It's been sometime since I heard from you
The quietness on your side is becoming
A chance of meeting again
The well-known facts were not even true
Everything in this world seems like a tale
If you watch the theologian of the town closely, Adeel
Even his actions and speech seems businesslike
Show light to the sun's rays,
But don't ever look down upon the lamps of your own homes!
If you can't answer my questions, then
Consider my thoughts an open sea
Even if time has bestowed the crown of age on you
Always think of others like you too were young, once
If you want to be treated well
Treating your friends shouldn't be an expense
Bartering happiness with ego
I could never settle for such a bargain
Our homelessness is our destination
Treat us like a rolling cloud
We understand you fully
You too should treat us like a friend, sometimes
Though they're empty handed with now clothes on their bodies
Don't ever consider such people helpless
This struggle of life and death is painstaking
Pick up the hammer and finish it
Due to regard and love, I have been quiet, Adeel
But don't drag it, I'm not speechless
Starvation compels one to emigrate
We don't belong here, but we're here!
Where are they, for whose well being
Even the Hurs* and paradise would come to earth
Burning in my own fire for others,
I drowned myself to be here
Don't look for us 'cause we're not to be found there,
Our landmarks have also traveled with us
Adeel, to whom should I complain
I was calling the realities while ambiguities followed.
Even if you extinguish the glowing
Writing on the wall, so what?!
Realities can't be hidden
Love nurtures the garden
Even if you sow the seed of hatred, so what?!
Your tone reflects the bitterness of your mind,
If your words pretended love, so what?!
My love was turned into punishment,
If he hurt me like that, so what?!
The whole garden was burning in the flames of hatred
If you could grow a flame in the desert, so what?!
The colors on my face couldn't be changed, Adeel
Though I tried to hide my secret, so what?!
Our leaders directed us in one direction,
Though we went just the other way
Nothing is a secret, everyone knows
Where His Highness goes in that direction
Where do we take off, where do we retire
this load of life, in which direction?!
Praying for the destination
I don't care where the shadow of the wall falls
Leaving the footsteps of my house,
I never thought where the warmth of speed
Would take me
How can you cure those who're in search of flowers
Responded to the valley of thorns and got their feet hurt
Those who were partners in power, yesterday
Are showing me today, the way to the gallows
If you read history, when it came to the real test,
You'll find which side did the crown go, and where the heads fell
Now, I can't take it anymore, Adeel
Let the tone of my speech take me anywhere
My dreams are shattering
The colors of the mirage are changing
Gradually
They don't even realize that death acts suddenly
The roses in the garden are blooming
Gradually
The body of the candle isn't the same as it was at night,
Its beauty and youth are melting
Gradually
Morning is the fate of each night, the sun will rise
The curtain of time on every face is lifting
Gradually
Adeel, tell them to live until this evening
Since the color of the sun will change
Gradually
I've decided to see you again
Keeping my mother's words, not mine
You couldn't see the obvious
But I even noticed the enemy hidden behind
I'm the one you loved the most
And I never failed to remind you, when you did forget
The virgin-hood saved for years
Was just lost in a night
The one who can't see eye to eye and doesn't talk
Is the one from whom I had learned
The ones who weren't even on my memory lane
I heard from them, the stories of my life
Heart bled though lips laughed
That's how I rendered the story of my life, everyday
All those who set fires are mad at me
Why, to extinguish, did I give water into the hands of fire
What else would I write as his injustice, Adeel
So I branded my wounds as his souvenir
The rewards of my fidelity were unmatched
Instead of love, I was entangled in hatred's web
As relationships grew, problems multiplied,
We were in a strange company of the greats!
Queer was the decision of ending all ties
Though you were not at my home, your thoughts were
This is the time for action, let's not argue
If you think with a balanced mind, you'll strike a balance in life
Being proud doesn't suit anyone
Those who walk with heads high, fall
From whom elders can learn the lesson of sobriety
I've met those youngsters
Searching for answers in this world, Adeel
I found just questions in response to questions
Like a play-field after the game
I'm in my home as leftover stuff
It's my desire that people showed read me too
Though I'm wrapped like a satchel
I've seen strange miracles of titles
Purdits speaking like God
Keep to your states of "the best of creatures"
If you're human being, behave humanely
What's in one's heart only God knows
Why do read everyone's face like the Quran
How would you bring his tone in your writing
Though you do try to write like Irfan*
Adeel's love is not like an angel's love
He loves everyone as a human being
I keep trusting you
Repeating the mistake now and then
Writing the story of fidelity everyday
Breaks my fingers
There's nothing more precious than life
And, I'm ready to sacrifice it for you
The person who doesn't even know the principles of fidelity
I don't know why I love him
All that remained was the garb of clay
And even that I keep breaking into pieces
Drowned in your memory
I count these moments in ecstasy
Who has already gone
I pray for his return, a thousand times
Though he won't return from this journey
But I still wait for him
A breaking heart makes all sounds
Cruelties and injustices of all sorts
Hatred, love, wisdom, and madness
Life offers all sorts of adversities
Be happy and life forever:
I've with me, my mother's prayers of all sorts
This eye never gets wet
Though all sorts of clouds surround my heart
I burn like a lamp
Ask me about all sorts of winds
The one who's angry, I wish
Could listen to my heart making all sorts of sounds
Think about life for awhile, Adeel
There all sorts of sins here
I'm a sinner so why concessions, O' God
How come you are so kind to me
Even love's been polluted
Look what kind of staves have been tied to my name
Where my ashes come from
I've to go back there
What journey and travelogns are you talking about
What kind of seeds were sown
And what's been reaped
How come the plants of love bore hatred?!
Light the candles of love
And conquer hearts
Our elders left such idioms
Passing happiness for a moment
Is a great blessing
What kind of prayers are those
Which hurt someone's heart
Since the elders are no longer with us
Now we remember their blessings
While we were in the heavens
Earth was so peaceful
Look all sorts of calamities
Have landed with us
The ones, for whom we almost got killed for
Are now playing politics with us
Don't misuse a lamp of prayers
What use are those prayers that burn someone's house
Don't listen to one but look into mirror
Why do you even hate yourself
Those whom we considered dear
Turned out to be enemies
Look what sort of friendships did we have
Light you couldn't take
So why complain, since I'm extinguished
This world has strange ways, let's go, Adeel
These times suit them who can't see far
The streets are decorated with ammunitions, let's go and see
They say every house is full of corpses, let's go and see
This time, there's a strange fair, even the Fort's decorated
City-walls are embedded with the sign's of crucification, let's go and see
In lust of this world why do you forget,
There are hopes awaiting at home, let's go and see
My friend, if you've time, get out of your house
The epitaphs, the graves, let's go and see
Just thinking of worldly affairs won't take you anywhere, Adeel
We've been hearing about Heaven and Hell, let's go and see
I have to give him the news, once again, today
Burning desires are to be cooled off , once again
O' my admirers, sharpen your knives
The wounds are about to heal,
It's time for inflicting new wounds, once again
Life's knocking on my door
I'm trying to find a way to avoid it, once again
Looking for something you won't find here, Sahib
My ancestors lived in a palace, it's my humble dwelling
There goes someone again, not to return
From a journey, whose objective is to make us weep all our lives
How long can one live so lonely in this world fair
On one side is love, the other time
How can they lead who themselves
Have no sense of direction
In blurring evening light, finally think Adeel
Who to remember and who to forget?!
All my life I've been thinking of seeing him
Asking myself the same question that I couldn't resolve
Don't talk about the one who couldn't find you
'cause the one who could find you fell too
There was children who never reached youth
There were many elders in this town who acted young
The people with little know-how prospered, Adeel
Why were the ones who knew more under the king's rage?!
In the midst of my own people
Why am I so lonely, don't ask
Now my far-sightedness is
Becoming my melancholy, don't ask
Let's now talk, my friend, about
The experiences and bitterness
I can't even express how I feel
When hear that happy music, so don't ask
Ponder over, why springs are so short lived in this world
But why the springs felt like the autumn in my garden, don't ask
Look at the dying flowers at noon
What's the strategy behind it, my friend
From the desert, don't ask
Trust God and do good deeds
Who's pardoned and who's punished, don't ask
Ask me of my weakness and I'll answer, Adeel
Why that infidel still lives in my heart, don't ask
In separation from the I weep
Though it's so personal still they make stories
It was always an effort in futile
Whenever I tried to forget about you
Just for the sake of showing off
People spread fire
I was a fool who come forward to extinguish it
In making an effort to spread love,
Months, years, and centuries were not even sufficient time
Believing, he only resides in my heart
When sought, he was found to be everywhere
To perform duty and pay the dues is difficult, Adeel
The times are such, who'll come forward in keeping promises
Got tired of walking
Though kept walking
Until I came closer to death
Once I used to be happy to see
Now the same sight wets my eyes
Where did happiness go
Kept walking and gathered sorrows
Why did sorrows join me
Though caravans went to their destinations
While walking, we lost many friends
This world appears to be different now
While walking, haven't we both changed
Righteousness brings you closer to Him
The temples and mosques on the way are lost
If one isn't happy, Adeel
Longevity is a curse
Couldn't light the lamps, I tried
Saving them from the blowing winds, I tried
My compassion and sincerity didn't melt him
Giving him my hand and heart, I tried
The imprints deepened thousand times
Though erasing them a thousand times, they tried
Who, once, lost respect
Could never be rise
Carrying them on its head, the earth tried
I just couldn't show the pinching of my heart
Though decorating wounds, I tried
Every face reminded me of him
Everyway of forgetting, I tried
I met all with an open heart and love, Adeel
Though to hurt me, everyone tried
Let me touch the dust
Of his footstep, and
Show me the pathway Mola* chose
After touching it
O God, elevate me to heights!
*Mola: Prophet Mohammed gave this title to Ali, his cousin
The mirage of life was glittering like the world, I thought
He was in my soul, though
I limited Him to my body
It turned out to be the fragrance of the Holy Dust
Which I thought to be of flowers
While bowing in prayers touching ground
It was a queer feeling
As I went around Kaba*
I thought of me as supernatural
Like an angel, or a spirit
When did we really endeavor to find Him
We, always took ourselves to be in His own image
I had an unbelievable time in the House of God, Adeel
Though, being on earth, I felt I was touching the sky
Why there so many suspicious O'Prophet
When you are my care taker O'Prophet
We are amazed to know there still are
So many shackles and prisons O'Prophet
The same earth on which you treated everyone equally
Now is being ruled by Kings O'Prophet
The minds, whose silence you broke with Iqra*
They still are silent and deserted O'Prophet
Once again, for the sake of test, Pharaoh is waiting at the seashore
The Nile is raising a commotion again, O' Prophet
Your personality has decorated this universe with prestige
This universe could be sacrificed on you, O'Prophet
In this desert of scorching heat of disappointments
You're like the shaded garden, O'Prophet
Hopefully that day arrives when Adeel could write
I can boast of practicing your thoughts, O'Prophet
Give me words worthy of describing Karbala
I'm writing in praise of Karbala
It gave a new message to the world, my friends
Karbala is the prestige of humanity
The problems we face on this earth
Are nothing but lack of Karbala in our lives
Karbala has given this world the message of righteousness
The name, Husain*, made Karbala recognized
Even today, if one's willing to accept it,
The generosity of Karbala's institution is overflowing in the name of Hur*
There are many who desire to see Karbala
There are many who are the ambassadors of Karbala on this earth
Oppression was exposed to its heights
As Husain took the battlefield of Karbala
Thousands of your wishes have been fulfilled, Adeel
I hope your desire of visiting Karbala is realized as well
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